sleepless fury

march the 23rd

Staring from the Seas

I had to get up early today. Ugh.

Well, it wasn't *early* early, just early compared to what I'm used to, which is 10 in the morning. I got up at 7. Argh.

I know, I know, I'm whining, when I really shouldn't be... But my body was hurting all day, and I found myself sleeping when I shouldn't have. I took a short nap in my last class and my professor wasn't too happy. Not happy at all. In fact he asked me to leave. I laughed and waved to class.

I had to get up early because I had to drop my car off at the body shop. And now I get to drive a chevy Cavalier. Lucky me. It's such a change from my Volvo. Granted, my Volvo is a 93 but it has served me well, and is in almost tip-top condition. I could just rave and rave about my car, but it would seem pointless to do it here. Basically, I love my car. It's been good to me, and I have treated it the best I could. I'm going to miss it.

In all actuality the Cavalier wasn't too bad. I just have bad memories of driving in a Cavalier, so I have never thought highly of them. I'll tell you this - never take a ten hour trip with one straight - it'll kill ya. But driving around in my quaint little town with the Cavalier isn't too bad. It doesn't have much pickup, and the handling is screwy, the seat moves around and I have to stick my hand out the window to fix my side mirrors... but other than that, it's doing fine. It better not conk out on me though. Just because that would suck.

I was sad for most of the day. It was a sunny day, so it had nothing to do with the weather, but nonetheless I can't place my finger on why I was sad. I just kinda walked around noticing different things and wondering about it. I remember staring at the tennis courts for a good ten minutes wondering how many balls would get hit out. Then I tried to stare at the sky and count how long it would take one cloud to enter my sight of vision and then leave. It was taking too long so I didn't bother.

As you can imagine I wasn't very productive at all. I have several reports to do, and I'm so far behind. The next couple of days are really gonna kick my ass.

Oh fuck, I'll just come out with it. I feel like shit. I feel like people are avoiding me. They probably aren't, but that's how I feel. People aren't responding to me. People aren't listening to me. And I feel like just leaving. You know? Just pick up some clothes and just leave and not tell anyone. Go explore shit. Find myself. God, that sounds so cliche. But I need to. Desperately. I need to know what I want, what I need.

For a couple of weeks I thought I was interested in this one young lady. But I guess I'm not. Or maybe I haven't seen any kind of reaction from the other party, thus I've lost hope. Yeah, that's probably it.

Shit, I need to get more RAM. Every time I try to do multiple tasks the damn thing crashes. Talk about pissing me off. It especially likes to crash when I'm doing graphics on Photoshop, and I never get a chance to save it. Then I really get fucking pissed. Oh well, I deal with it.

Oh, the Oscars are on tonight. Are you watching? I'm watching. Not paying attention, but watching nonetheless. Oh cool. There's something going on about a "the Oscar's family album". That's pretty neat.

I think I'll stop rambling now before you throw something at the computer screen.

I have nothing more to say.

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