sleepless fury

march the 22nd

Strangers You Thought You Knew II

My mind is swimming.

I didn't get home last night so I didn't get an entry in. Sorry. Why, you ask? Well, let's start from the beginning.


I slept in until 2 in the afternoon and was absolutely rejuvenated. I haven't slept that much in awhile and it felt damn good. I didn't do much during the day, at least from what I can remember. I do know that I found someone else to work for me which was great. It worked out for both of us (me and the person who worked for me) because I really didn't want to work at all, while she needed a few extra hours! How can you complain about that? You can't! And I didn't!

A few of my friends were home from their respective colleges for their spring breaks, so I got around to seeing a few of them. Isaac was home, as well as Alex (who attends Brown) and even though he wasn't on his spring break, Jacob came home. A bunch of us were going to go to our old high school and watch Music Man, which was the musical that was being performed there. Isaac managed to snag us a few really great seats - I think they were in the D row, which would have been 4 seats behind the orchestra. The musical on a whole was a lot better than I thought it was going to be, which is cool because I know that everyone that was a part of it worked extremely hard.

Going to the play was interesting for me. First of all, I told myself right after I graduated that I was going to try and avoid all the school functions that were going to occur while I was in college, and for the most part I held true to my word. But today I had to make an exception. Last year we performed Grease, and even though it was a high school production and nothing close to the caliber that I've had the opportunity to work with, it was still soooooo much fun. I have so many great memories of it, in fact they are probably one of my fondest. I remember trying to piss off my director on purpose just because I thought it was so much fun, and I remember making so many friends, and I remember the adrenaline rush than was pulsing through me when everything was finished, and oh, it was so magnificent. And while I sitting there watching Music Man being performed, I realized I wasn't a part of it. I still had a great time, but there was something about it that stung.

Another thing that was interesting were all the memories that came flooding back to me, having seen so many familiar faces that I hadn't seen for so many months. Old teachers were there, old classmates, old colleagues, old lovers and significant others, and it really got me thinking - but I didn't get thinking of anything in particular. Instead my mind just swam through oceans and oceans of familiar memories, some heart wrenching, some mind stimulating and some just plain old weird. By the time that everyone was leaving the school I couldn't think really straight and I often had to pause in order to give myself some time to answer a question. It really started bothering me.

I was invited by a couple of people to attend the cast party (I mostly remember a certain young lady that I used to be involved with almost begging me to go), but I decided that since I wasn't invited by the person holding the get-together, that I shouldn't go. Besides, a lot of my friends came home from college so I thought it would be more proper for me to go with them.


Since there is nothing to do in this town, we ended up at Zest dinner. We sat there reminiscing and talking about the general, old garbage. The night was blah blah blah, and just talking about stuff that wasn't really relevant, and when I think of it, wasn't really entertaining at all... but I suppose the fact that most of the group was tired kept anyone from complaining. Our little dinner party ended at about 2 in the morning, about the same time when it started snowing outside.

I ended up going over to Susan's house and just hanging out there because I never really like going home. I've crashed at her house often, and her mother loves me, so I didn't think she would mind if I came over. She didn't. It was a bit odd being there though. First of all, she couldn't talk because the operation on her throat rendered her "voiceless" for a couple of weeks, and second of all, because she spent a good 2 hours on her computer talking to people on AOL while I watched Dr. Katz and some movie, The Missing Link. We eventually headed up to her room at around 4 when we tried to sleep. But we didn't. Instead we sat on her bed, blankets on top of us, just talking about everything. I told her that I was feeling bewildered for some reason, just with all these memories flooding through mind, and she told me that she was feeling the same. That was a relief and I was glad that I wasn't the only person feeling that way.

We managed to get to bed at around 5:30 in the morning.

I got up at noon. I was exhausted. My drive home was a mix of delirium and retardedness. I'm glad I made it home in one piece, because I honestly don't even remember driving home. My car seemed to be alright (except for the dent that Terry made last weekend) so I think I did okay.

When I got home my father wasn't too happy with me. Apparently we were supposed to go somewhere this morning and I wasn't home, and he didn't know where I was. I admit, it was my fault that I didn't call him and tell him that I was sleeping over at Susan's house, but it was 2 in the morning when I decided that I was going to, so I couldn't help that. But the kicker is that I talked to him about it earlier during Saturday afternoon, and he implied that we weren't going to have to go. I ended up apologizing to him and the people that we were supposed to visit, and that was that. I'm just glad that my dad didn't make such a big deal out of it as he usually does with stupid things like that.

The rest of today was pretty insignificant. I managed to talk with Sammy and Chel. Sammy, as always, was a pleasure to talk with. On the other hand, Chel, whom I care for dearly, was in a very agitated mood, and I thought she was mad at me. She informed me that she wasn't, but I started feeling bad for her. I tried my best to cheer her up, but I don't think I did any good this time. Sometimes it's just impossible to cheer someone up when they are having a shitty day. I know it is in cases when I'm feeling like that. I hope that she feels better soon.

Grace and elegance are such pretty things.

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