monday, november 1, 1999 2:58:22 pm

it's an oldie, but a goodie!

so, yesterday (oct. 31st, halloween) was's 1st birthday. [ APPLAUSE ] yay. strangely enough it feels like i've been here forever. man, only a year. and to think, i only started learning this html and web design thing in 97. it's lead to so many things and so many opportunities.

i was discussing with myself (?) the importance of birthdays. how are they so important? you've spent one more year on this place we call earth, one more year closer to death, one year further from immortality (that is if you aren't immortal yet, right?). is there a correlation between age and experienced gained? and if so, once you become and old dog that can no longer learn new tricks, does age become irrelevant? perhaps once you reach a certain age you should just forget your age and just be called "old", or "immortally challenged", or something politically correct / ridiculous like that. the only thing that i can really be sure about is that my physical body will be "older", nothing more or nothing less.

this weekend was pretty much gorgeous. it was like summer all over again - lots of people, warm temperatures, hot rooms, fleeting glances, barbecue dinners and smoky hazes. the halloween weekend in itself was pretty enjoyable - i got to hang out with my little sister (who dressed up like a tiny kangaroo, and being as she is only 19 months old, we had to hang out at each door for at least 5 minutes because people constantly giggled, "oh"ed and "aahh"ed at how cute she looked), and hang out with friends, things that are cool in my book. i'd say that the only bad thing was when i was driving to pick up a 6 pack of yeung ling, and i was caught off guard by an egg being used as a projectile. i thought i was dead for a few seconds, but it turned out to be okay. i actually didn't curse (that much), since i was happy that i actually wasn't dead. dying would have been bad.

anyhow, i spent most of my leisurely time over at jack's place, along with the usual company of heads which normally is comprised by the likes of mia, gary, jack, jeff and myself. we decided to smoke a little, drink a little, and spend a few hours outside listening to the band that jack's neighbors had over - a little. we set a few blankets down, pulled up a barrel and threw in some sticks, papers and a match or two (not to mention a few bottles of oil and kerosene that jack just happened to come upon), and inhaled the crisp night air. it was a good time. i think i got a bit sloshy - i can't be sure if it was the alcohol or all the toxins i kept inhaling from the fire because of all the garbage that was being throw in there. i most definitely smelled the reek of bonfire the next morning on all the clothes that i had worn that night, which lead to my room smelling like it as well. yummy.

i'm still addicted to shaving my head. doesn't look like it's going to change for awhile - or least a week or two. hehe.

the notion of quitting smoking has been a concept that has been floating around my head for sometime. i can feel my mind (and lungs) telling me to stop, but my body always kicks ass and makes me pick up another smoke and light it. the thought of not smoking seems to be too difficult an image to conjure up - it's just too stressful at work for me not to smoke. i can't sit at my desk all day and just plug away at shit; i think i'd go insane. going insane is usually not a good thing.

insanity is something i think i'd like to experience. i've heard that the unstable mind can hold secrets to life that most cannot easily fathom - however the drawback of not being sane or at least not being able to control when you can become sane or insane is usually less than delectable.

my shadow was staring at me today in a way i couldn't help but notice. it drew up from my feet (as shadows usually do), ran along the ground, and then turned up against the wall. a spigot or some type of water dispensing device ran out of my shadow's head, or at least my head's shadow just came up against the wall where the faucet just happened to be. but i had to wonder - what WOULD come out of my head's shadow if it actually had a spigot protruding out of it? whatever it would be, would be most interesting indeed.

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