wednesday, february 03, 1999 4:49:52 pm

riding along in my automobile

ah. well, the month is february, and i have finally begun to stop dating everything with 1998. i've always found that after the new year's party, that the actual new year was annoying because of everything that i would have to get used to. i've probably already dated several checks with '98, which can be a severe pain in the ass in some cases... ah well. no doubt they will be sent back to yours truly in a few days.

i find it funny that even though my school breaks are around two and a half weeks long, it takes be much longer than that to get used to the fact that i'm in school again. it's such a pain to be responsible. if i could have it my way, i'd probably just stay in my house and sleep the daylight hours away. it would seem appropriate - that's what i pretty much do anyway. if it weren't for the 4 hour periods where i actually have to get up around noon to go to school, i'd no doubt not bother waking up until 4 in the evening.

you may have already surmised the fact that my sleeping habits have gone even more haywire. when it became a habit of falling asleep two hours past midnight, it was tolerable. now i find myself staying up until the wee hours of the morn, only catching precious rest when the skies that can be seen out my windows begin to lighten up with the coming of the sun. and it's not like i want to stay awake until 5 or 6 in the morning. on the contrary, i often try to fall asleep at least around 2, but midnight or even eleven would be most desirable. but there i'll be, just laying in bed as i watch my alarm clock slowly count forward... 2:31, 2:32, 2:33 - and then suddenly it's 5:34. often i'd just give up and proceed to surf the 'net as always, or try another design experiment out.

this can't be healthy.

on a lighter note, i've decided to save money. money, money, money. lately, money has been on my mind a lot. my vast fortune (haha) still remains untouched (which it probably will for awhile, i'm sure there are those of you that understand why :), however i find that my actual spending money until the year 2005 has diminished to pathetically low amounts. this realization has resulted in several things:

first, to save my rapidly depleting educational scholarship fund, i have transferred (once again, groan) schools. this decision has not only allowed a major drop in tuition payments, but i'll also save money by not having to drive so far, or live at another place. the downside of this? i'll be living with my argumentative father.

second, i basically don't leave the house on weekdays, except to go to school. even with the surprising drop in gas prices, i'll still be saving a ton by not driving endlessly to places i've never been to just for the hell of it, which i did quite often. it's a habit when you decide to alienate yourself for no apparent reason. however, it goes beyond that. by not leaving the house i also avoid the powerful temptation of buying anything that i see which is remotely interesting. and i find a lot of things interesting. hell, one day i spent over a hundred bucks on those beast wars transformers, just because i liked watching the show, was a big fan of the original tf's, and because i like toys. and let's not even talk about comics, books, cd's, or computer goodies.

lastly, i now refuse to carry cash in my wallet beyond twenty dollars. i usually was in the habit of carrying large amounts of money (i no doubt would have been a muggers dream victim), which also lead to me make ridiculous impromptu purchases or either drugs, alcohol or food. not to mention the other goodies that were stated in the previous paragraph.

now that i'm done giving my "lighter note", let's get back to the nitty-gritty. the fighting in my house still hasn't subsided. my father and i mostly avoid each other beyond our dinner table conversations, yet we still manage to argue about something. last sunday, i came home before midnight (which is ALWAYS a rarity when i go out), and mr. dadd-io came down and started yelling at me for no apparent reason. i proceeded to agree with him just so that i could get him off my case and he would leave, but it seemed like my decision to not argue with him only fueled his desire to yell even further. i eventually mentioned something along the lines of "did you come down here just so you could just yell at me?", which promptly shut him up.

on monday i had a conversation with rissa. she and i have been actually getting along quite well, despite our rocky past. the conversation was rather drab and pretty depressing, as she kept mentioning every other minute how completely "down" i sounded. sadly, it was true. i found that my voice was monotonous, my thoughts lethargic, and my body full of sighs. however, we proceeded to talk about what was going on in each others life (pretty much nothing on my end, and the usual for her). suffice to say we didn't talk long.

and now it's wednesday. i remember how i was telling james a few days back how i hated saying wednesday phonetically. wed-nes-day. i doesn't makes sense. i guess that would be one of the reasons why they say that english is one of the hardest languages to learn. so many different rules of conjugation, pronunciation, annunciation... all that stuff. i'm glad i grew up on english (somewhat). god knows if i were learning it, i'd probably be terrible, as i'm terrible with most languages. funny thing is, i can pull off a french or filipino accent no problem, but getting me to speak it is a whole different matter. you have to give me some credit though - i'm pretty good at understanding both french and tagalog (the main filipino dialog), but for some reason my mind can't calculate it fast enough, or properly for that matter, so that i might be able to communicate with those that speak those languages. ah well. anyway, i've decided that if i want to learn those languages, i'd probably have to totally immerse myself within the respective culture. i'd probably learn it no problem then.

school. school for the most part has been what i've always thought of it. boring and seemingly useless. actually, i'm terribly over critical of school. to be totally honest, i do learn a lot from attending classes and reading those unentertaining text books... but WHY does it have to be so boring all the time?

i have found some refuge though. my two evening classes (and coincidentally, the only evening classes i've ever had) are extremely entertaining. my first is public speaking, which is something i've always enjoyed. the class also consists of an abnormal large amount of attractive looking woman, which is always a good thing in my book. my prof is pretty cool too. he constantly is trying to find interesting ways to keep the information he feeds us interesting, usually by forcing us to work in groups, which i always find much more entertaining than having to listen to someone lecture straight from the book. my other class is psychology. this class also consist of attractive women, however to smaller degree. but it's also where i met kelly, and i've only got good things to say about her. unfortunately, our prof teaches straight from the book, BUT he often goes off into odd tangents trying to explain all the stories, terms, and other psychology stuff, which usually results in most of the class laughing at his dry-witted humor. Suffice to say, he's been one of the more interesting "lecture" prof's i've ever had.

work is almost non-existant. i have since put my two weeks notice at the bookstore, although they keep calling asking if i'd like to work for them on weekends from time to time. seeing that i'm currently unemployed (for the most part) and have decided to try to save money, the offer is excruciatingly tempting. i'll probably cave in in a few days or weeks, but for now i'm going to stand my ground. but god, how i love my 33% discounts. NO! MUST SAVE MONEY.

i have however submitted a few website proposals to several companies in my area, and a few are contemplating the idea. so far only a temp agency that i used to work for has agreed to hire me, but they've not yet decided when. they did hint that it would be within two weeks, which would be nice. big bucks, big bucks, big bucks! what were those things called again? "whammies"? well, it will be nice having some sort of income again.

well, i'm on my way out. i need to take some pictures for this journal entry and 7mm, so that's what i'm going to do. by the way, i have decided to kill the annoying sparseness of and have added renditions, which is basically my old poetry journal in digital format. for the most part the "poetry" is actually quite atrocious, but i put too much hard work into typing out those 120 pages of poetry code, so i might as well, no? anyhow, i'll be seeing you.

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