sleepless fury

march the 19th

Staring Into the Heavens

I was feeling to sad yesterday to do an entry. For some reason, I couldn't get myself to type.

I wasn't sad for a good reason either. Nothing sad or bad had happened to me, it's just the way I felt. It was like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, and that's how it felt literally! It was as if there were these two hooks that were embedded into my shoulders, and they were dragging me down (that's actually a pretty lame description, but I can't think of anything better right now), and my heart felt heavy and my mind was all a blur. I just didn't feel good.

Today was a lot better. I felt somewhat upbeat compared to yesterday, even though it was raining. I was thinking - could the weather have a direct connection to my moods on a certain day? It probably is a major factor, as I find myself gloomy if the sky is gray, or pretty good when the sky is blue, but I imagine there are other factors to think about as well. Oh well, I'll never know for sure.

School was irritating. Like the rest of the week, school today failed to inform me of anything that I didn't already know. School seems to trivial - I feel like it's not worth it. It certainly isn't worth the money I'm paying for. Argh. It's pissing me off.

The rest of the day was good though. I managed to redesign the main page of Svengali, and if I say so myself, it looks pretty good. I'm quite proud of it actually - the only drawback is that the javascript that I have programmed into it will only work with Netscape 3.+ and MIE4+. My geocities mirror site still has the old main screen, just in case people complain too much about this one. *sigh* People should upgrade anyhow.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Terry came over yesterday with my deductible check. It's a shame that all that money will have to go to the insurance agency. Then again it's a lot better than paying 12 hundred dollars. Argh. That would be hell. I'd feel really dumb to have to pay all that.

For the first time in a long time I saw a dead skunk on the road. It was pretty grotesque - its head had been run over and all the blood and stuff was out. It looked pretty fresh. The smell wasn't too pleasant either, but it didn't seem to bother me. I thought about picking it and moving it off the road, as if to honor the animal by reducing the change of it getting run over more by other cars, but once I saw the maggots running around the carcass, I decided it wouldn't be too healthy. I guess it's demise wasn't as fresh as I thought it was.

That last paragraph was pretty sick.

Did I say how the sky was all gray? It was weird. It wasn't like a real full grey. There was specks of blue and purple in the sky, like a scene from some nuclear apocalyptic fiction novel. It was kind of awesome. Maybe it was just me though, because when I was outside I didn't notice anyone else making the same observation. Maybe I was tripping or something, which would be pretty odd in itself since I don't take acid or any other kind of hallucinogen. Well, I remember it being like that, so I'll take my own word for it. It was pretty funky nonetheless.

Wow, I saw an ad for that movie with the chipmunks, "The Chipmunk Adventure", and they were selling it. Is it me, or isn't that a really old movie? I remember watching that movie when I was little kid. What were there names? Oh yeah, Theodore, Simon and Alvin. AAAAAAAAAAAAALLLVVIIIIIIIN!!! *laugh* Man, weird. Come to think of it, I still remember the a lot of the episodes for the show. That's freaky.

Ack! My friends are sending me all these email messages. I'm not sure who started it - I'm thinking it was Jacob. What he does is send one message to all of us, and then everyone who responds responds to everyone that he sent the message too. So when everyone comes home we all get 200 email messages. How annoying! Ack! It kills me. It was kind of cool at first to see "You have 213 messages", but the its novelty ran dry quite quickly. It's pretty funny though, because I went and read through every single one of those messages. Argh!

When I got home my dad was in a pretty good mood. He asked if I would go with him to some baby shop and help him decide on which stroller he should get. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. My dad's girlfriend in Montreal is pregnant. How fucked is that? He didn't even tell anyone - or at least me and Krys! We had to find out through other sources, but still, that's pretty fucked up. This will be his second illegitimate child. What can I say? My dad is a mack-daddy. *laugh* That sounds funny.

Gotta run. Just wanted to get an entry in before I neglected my journal two days in a row.

"What does not kill us, only makes us stranger..." - Trevor Goodchild, Aeon Flux

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