sleepless fury

february the 25th

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Today was absolutely gorgeous.

I woke up still sick, but feeling a lot better than I had been for the past few days. This was at about 8 in the morning. Can you believe that, I woke up at 8 in the morning? It was a refreshing feeling. The sun was shining through my blinds, and as I approached my windows, I could see the magnificent colors of the sky before me. My heart rejoiced, for it had been some time since I had seen the sky so clear. There were a few clouds out, but they just seemed to compliment the heavens - a few whisps of clouds here, and a few there. I woke up on a very good note.

Nothing in my first class was interesting, so I won't talk about it. I decided to go home for the 4 hour period in between classes, so that I could relax, as I was still feeling a bit groggy. Upon my arrival at my house, I was greeted with a message from Susan.

Now, let's talk about Susan. I've referred to her a couple of times in my journal, but I've never really talked about her. Susan is a wonderful, wonderful person who I had that pleasure of meeting in my senior year of high school. I was new at the high school, as I had just moved here from Toronto, so the memory of her taking the time to say "hello" to me and making me feel comfortable with my new surroundings will always be with me. For most of the year we didn't really hang out, merely saying hello and exchanging smiles as we passed each other in the halls. But as the year began to close we began to hand out with each other a lot more. I have to say we enjoyed each others company, and I think that people were beginning to wonder if we were seeing each other. We never did, but we were very close as friends. We are still are pretty close, although recently we have had to fill in the holes of our friendship because she had been away for several months in New York for AMDA, but unfortunately she had to return due to a medical problem she was having with her throat. I felt bad for her, as that was her dream to sing on Broadway and such, but secretly I rejoiced, for one of my good friends was back home.

Anyhow, back to the message. She called and left a message to call her back, which I did. We talked for awhile, although we never focused on any particular topic. Her voice was lower than normal, and she didn't seem as happy as she usually was. I sensed something was wrong, so I offered to hang out with her, but I told her I didn't feel like driving. She seemed to lighten up with that suggestion and we agreed that her and Allie would pick me up at around 12:30.

They picked me up and we drove all over the place. We never really decided where we were going, but we did accomplish several errands. I needed to pick up some more medication, and we needed to get lunch. I remember sitting in the back seat of the car and babbling redundantly about various stupid topics, but it managed to get a smile, giggle and laugh out of my two female companions, and so I was pleased.

I never got around to asking Susan is anything was wrong, or if anything did happen at that party last Saturday, but I did get to see her smile, which was good enough for me. I assumed that if anything was bothering her too severely she would take the time to tell me when she felt comfortable. They ended up dropping me home WAY past my second class, so I didn't even bother going. I took my guitar out to the back porch and played a few tunes, trying to sing with my sick, scraggly voice. I did come up with a new song, but I won't be able to hear it in its zenith until my voice is a bit better. As I sat there strumming my guitar I felt the cool air filling my lungs, surging energy throughout my body. It was a feeling I hadn't possessed for awhile, and it felt so good.

I'm angry at myself for not putting anything into Sleepless Thoughts. I haven't even been touching my real poetry journal for a week until today, which is even more disturbing. When I'm sick is usually when I do my best poetry. Like I said, I managed to pull out the old journal today and put in a few lines, but nothing really worth posting or talking about.

That graphic on the top of the page is what I sent Kiel for his ShadowVale links page. He seems to think it is cool, but I whipped it off in a few moments. In my personal opinion, not one of my best creations.

I'm glad today happened. Nothing spectacular was made, created or happened, but it was calm, relaxing and meaningful for the most part.

I look forward to the lazy days of summer and it's wonderful taste.

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