sleepless fury

june 14th

blurred destiny

Wow. I haven't written in this for a long time. But I feel it is right for me to finally resume what was.

However, I don't know if I really have an explanation for my hiatus. It really wasn't self-imposed, but I don't believe it happened by accident either. Does that sound confusing? Well, you see, I was becoming quite tired. Of everything. I had just finished school, and things seemed to be going fine. I brought home perfect grades and such (and might I mention that even with that my father wasn't pleased, but that's another story) and was ready to cruise into summer. No job unless I really needed major money, and pretty much taking it easy.

Somehow it didn't happen. I have ended up taking summer classes, which quite truthfully sucks. Truly a bad idea. And then my father was also constantly pestering me work everyday. So right after work I went to class. It was really quite tiresome, and I needed every spare minute of the day to get rest. But now summer classes are winding down, and I have decided not to work 9 hours everyday, so that should be pleasant.

I guess there are a few other things that I should explain (I'm know some of you are wondering who that young lady was two entries ago) but I'm sure I'll explain that another time. I doesn't feel right to tell everything right away for some reason. So I won't.

I will say this much, that past two days have been hectic, not to mention strange. Let's think. Well, today is sunday, so I guess I'll start Saturday. I walked into the bookstore, ready to work for another eight hours, stuck with Pat and Dawn. What was strange was that I had called up Dawn the night before, asking if she wanted to buy my Dave Matthew tickets after I found out that I wouldn't be able to go. At the time nothing was really strange, and she delightfully told me that she really didn't have the money to go, and that was that. I expected everything would be fine the next day.

I was initially surprised when I entered work and both Pat and Dawn were not in. I was quickly informed that Pat was at the beach, which made me quite happy until I heard the next bit of news. Dawn's father had died during the night. Just like that, in a snap, her father had passed away. I seems like such a film cliche, to have someone's jaw drop, but that's exactly what my jaw did. I stood there, mouth gaping open and in shock, not quite sure what to say.

Work didn't start of on a bright note.

And so I was cursed for the rest of the day with the thought of how weird and shocking it was that Dawn's father was fine a few hours before. It quickly reminded me of how my piano teacher had died of a stroke years ago, about 3 hours after I just had piano lessons with her. I remember being shocked, and almost in denial.

I managed to find things to distract me - stocking shelves with new books and helping out customers, but it seemed that after receiving the shocking news works was a lot sadder. I guess it was understandable.

Work dragged on. I was glad to leave after closing, but also regretted telling Gem that I would pass by her house, as she was having a few people over since her parents were down at the shore. I entered her house feeling exhausted, tired and dirty, but I managed to be civil, and actually hung out two hours pat midnight. I ended up driving home a guy home that I really didn't know because the girl he's seeing was so tired, she couldn't drive him home. Lame. Anyhow, he seemed cool enough, and was able to hold a conversation with me for the whole trip. And to keep me on my toes, God decided to put a drunk driver on the same street as me, and I almost got into a car accident. *laugh* The guy was literally on my side of the road, and if I wasn't completely sober or perhaps a little more tired, I could quite possible not be here today. After that slight accident my heart was beating at a racing pace, and I could feel the sudden rush of adrenaline jolt my body. Not pleasant, and not cool.

Not cool like how I have to get up at 8 in the morning (I know poor baby, SUCK IT UP!) and work all day and then go to my old high school graduation to see a few of my friends wear their gowns, and then go to work. Ugh. Tomorrow is not gonna be fun. Hmmm... So after realizing what I have to do tomorrow, I think I'm gonna cut this journal entry shorter than what I really wanted.

But at least I'm back, right?

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