thursday, november 4, 1999 10:12:09 am

what are you looking at?

i dreamt of you last night like no tomorrow. there was a certain amount of calmness in your voice, like you knew what i was going to say, or like you knew exactly what i was thinking about. it was eerie, yet numbingly comfortable at the same time. you sang sweetly into my ear as i closed my eyes, and i drifted off into a utopia of sorts, knowing that you would be there once i awoke.

it hit my senses all at once - a sweet aroma, an aesthetically pleasing vision of light, a beautiful song, an overwhelmingly warm feeling, and a most delectable flavor. i embraced it, i inhaled it, i became it. there was nothing to stop me, and so i didn't, just because it felt so right. i drank in the intoxication of what it was and lifted myself to a higher state of enlightenment.

walking down the street i noticed that the neon sign no longer blinked the letter "y", but i remember distinctly that it had the day before. i reached into my pocket and pulled out a napkin and a pen, and crossed a large "x" across the napkins face. i scratched my head in curiosity as to why i had done that, not expecting an answer to come to me anytime soon, but as i turned my eye and looked into a store that sold old televisions at a remarkably cheap price, i saw an "e" flash across the screen, no doubt a news cast busting on the rave that had been raided the day before. i shrugged and continued to walk past the store, past the faces, past the lights, and into an alleyway, knowing full well that the bum that sat there every day and night could only mutter "s", in long and quiet hisses.

if you knew the day you were going pass away from this world, would you cry, sink into depression, laugh your life away in sorrow and regret? "hell no!" i replied to the strange faceless man, and lifted my cup into the air in celebration and drank away at my beverage in the fiercest of moods.

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