tuesday, december 7, 1999 5:43:12 pm


it's the 7th of december, but today is certainly not a lucky day. i'm not a happy fellow.

i went out for a smoke today and i noticed a huge scrape mark on the right side of my car. it's probably going to need having my whole bumper replaced, which isn't too bad (hopefully it will be covered by my insurance) - just the fact that i'm not going to have my car for a little while is a really irritating notion. since discovering the hit and run, i've been moody all day, and bitched wherever i can bitch.

work has been stressful. i still love the environment, but there's just a lot of work that needs to get done. i've been pounded time after time with one big project after another, which i guess means that they trust me to be able to handle a large amount of work, but it also means that i have a lot of work to do, which doesn't make me a very happy fellow once again. every time i feel like i'm getting my head out of water, another big project comes along, and swamps me once again. i guess all i can really do is take everything in stride.

however, i've noticed that everything in my life has been going at a really fast pace. i don't have enough time to do anything - to hang out, to design on a personal basis, to go out to a bar, watch a few concerts... i feel the my free time will never come around again. i miss the days of waking up all the time at around noon knowing that i didn't have to do anything for the rest of the day. sigh. please come back.

yesterday i came home during work hours because i needed to pick up a few things to finish a sound project, and i was greeted by some lady crying and bitching. she explained to me how she lived in the area and that she didn't have power all weekend, that her husband had passed away recently, and that she needed 15 dollars to get an ID card done so that she could cash in her checks. she showed me her checks, and i saw her address which was around the area... so out of the goodness of my heart, i offered 20 dollars (mostly because i had no change) and she assured me that she would return the 20 dollars within an envelope into my mail slot by the end of the day.

of course, i never got the 20 dollars back.

i know i was being rather naive, to fall into the trap of a deceitful old woman telling me outrageous stories of her woes, but i can't help but feel swindled. what a horrible person, to play off the emotion of others just to get a few bucks. granted, i feel that everyone has the right to eat, and i am usually very giving when it comes to homeless people, or just basically those that are in need of some kind of help, but i still can't help feeling that i've been taken advantage of. i suppose it could have been worse; i'm glad that it wasn't.

i told you that i've been bitching whenever i can bitch.

* * *

on a lighter note, the past weekend was beautiful. last sunday i woke up around noon (wait, wasn't i just complaining that i missed those kind of days? oh yeah, i forgot, i went to the office later that day) and was feeling rather refreshed due to the enormous amount of sleep i had received the night before. still in my pajamas, i went outside to have a smoke when i came to the realization that it was wonderfully warm outside. i watched as a leaf fell down slowly before me, and i smiled happily.

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