friday, february 19, 1999 11:59:01 pm

yeah, that's right.  i hate taking pictures of myself.

the sun was shining by the time i woke up today. it's always usually bright outside by the time i kick myself in the butt and decide to throw the covers off to face the day. it's strange, how sometimes i can feel sorry for myself when i wake up. to face life. if i didn't know better, they'd seem like chores; facing life and waking up.

my body reacted in the usual matter when it discovers that it is cold - a quick shiver and tremble followed by an overwhelming temptation to throw the covers back on and sleep for another hour. i managed to resist the temptation and instead turned my television on and my screensaver off. on the tube, pixels formed what looked like reruns of news radio, in fact if i remember clearly it was the episode where bill tries to quit smoking and ends up putting on 15 nicotine patches. that's usually not a good idea. my computer revealed that i had 5 new email messages, all of which was junkmail sent from xoom and geocities - it seems like i'll never be able to relieve myself of those demons. oh, the days of free webpage services. it was good when there were no watermarks and pop-up windows and fourohfour messages. i remember grumbling while i clicked on each message and threw it into the "trash".

i needed to shave my head. i had told myself before i had gone to bed the night before that getting my head shaved was the first thing i needed to do once i managed to wake up. so that's what i did. my head has strange bumps and contours, something that has always made the task of shaving my own head somewhat difficult. i have always been careful (for vanity's sake) to make sure i've shaved everywhere evenly, otherwise i'd always be preoccupied with whether or not my hair (or lack of) looked funny. today i paid extra careful attention because i was going to get my picture taken.

god, how i hate having my picture taken.

soon enough my hair was done. i climbed into the shower to clean myself off as i've come to know that leaving short hairs on your body can become quite irritating. after a quick facial shave, a peanut butter sandwich, and a freshly washed change of clothes, i was off to the photo center to get my license finally renewed. here was the end result:

yeah, that's right.  i hate taking pictures of myself.  and yeah, this picture looks all messed.

did i mention how i hate having my picture taken? i usually look dumb.

actually, i think this photo is pretty decent. my last drivers license photo was terrible - i looked 50 pounds overweight and dead. not a flattering picture at all. even my hair then looked like it was in an awkward stage where it wasn't quite long enough to put into a nice pony tail, but it wasn't short enough to not care about it. i looked like a mess, plain and simple. i'll be glad when i finally torch that thing.

at around 3:30 i met up with kelly at the gym thinking that we were going to go another round of torturing out bodies. actually, i was quite sore from yesterday as we had worked out then as well and after finding out that kelly wasn't really in the mood for exercise we decided to head out to the library and check some email. i'm actually quite proud - kelly and i have already been to the gym 6 times since we first ventured into that halls leading to the work out facilities, and it looks like we're going to keep on going. it feels good to have those burning sore aches again and keeping fit. i guess what my old psych teacher said about exercise being good for dissipating ones "depressive" feelings was true, as i can honestly say that i haven't felt bad after working out. true, i'm sore and in pain after sometimes, but never depressed.

while kelly fumbled at her work station with eudora i checked my email through hotmail. nothing. how disappointing. i proceeded to surf through a couple of sites that kelly had received through her email. we found this, a great little site dealing with puzzles and thinking stuff. being that both kelly and i were lovers of riddles, we ended up perusing through that particular site for a good hour, laughing at each others mistakes and some of the ridiculous questions. i highly recommend you guys take the densa tests - they seemed like the most fun for me. i got the first test perfect. heh.

after, we parted ways (although not for the evening) and i made my way home.

to sum the next few hours that followed until eight o'clock, i met up with some old high school friends, smoked some kind and jammed on guitars. i had some pretty potent stuff so it didn't take long for me (and my friends) to feel the buzz start running around in the head. we loosely conversed above our quiet jam session, covering various topics such as police enforcement, alienation, 8 track recorders and mp3's. things were going well.

before we went our separate ways earlier, i had promised kelly that i would call around eight if i had nothing to do. alice or jacob hadn't returned the calls that i requested earlier in the evening, so after talking with kelly it was decided that her, ivan and i would go rent a movie and watch it at her house.

and that's what we did. it was a bit of a hassle - kelly literally lives in the middle of bumblefuck, so it took us almost 20 minutes to get to a freaking blockbuster. plus, kelly didn't have membership, so ivan and i had to wait while she applied. we ended up watching there's something about mary, which was fairly well written, but it just didn't live up to the hype that was produced for it.

it's funny - some days you just wake up feeling sorry for yourself and thinking "geez, today is going to suck", but by the time midnight rolls around everything seems to have gone alright. i'm glad there are days like this.

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