monday, november 09, 1998

changing season

i think i gave myself a blister. actually, i'm pretty sure i gave myself a blister. it's when your skin gets all loose, then starts to get puffy and watery inside, right? yeah, then i've given myself a blister.

how did I give myself a blister you ask? trying to show my friend how canadian pennies are so much harder to deface than american ones. as you can tell i spent a lot of my time doing useless things. i didn't win the argument either, so this blister was for nothing. great. *pop*

let me think, what did i do this past weekend that was remotely interesting? oh yeah, that's right, i'm a loser! i didn't do anything this weekend! and you know what! it's all my fault, so technically i have no right to complain! how many times can i use an exclamation mark in a paragraph? who knows!

did you ever read archie comics? i remember "back in the day" (geez, i'm not that old, am i?) reading those comics and noticing that everyone in riverdale ended their sentences in either a question mark, or an exclamation mark! can you believe that? i wonder what particular reasons they would do that? and what the hell was up with archie? how on earth did he get every good-looking girl in riverdale? (not that i think hand drawn girls are good-looking, mind you! hey, stop thinking that! no, i didn't daydream about betty!)

now that i'm finished being jealous of a cartoon that spends his life on that terrible newsprint-type paper, i can get back to talking about this weekend. for some reason i felt compelled to call allie this past friday, and i invited her out to the movies. and we went to the movies. we saw pleasantville, which was an interesting movie, almost touching. but i still didn't really have a good time. when i picked her up i was moppy. and when i dropped her off i was moppy. the whole time we were driving around before and after the movie all we did was talk about all our old friends, and how we didn't see a whole lot of them. some sad news is that allie hardly hangs out with susan anymore (if you read the "names" page you'll see that i wrote that those two were practically inseparable), plus allie thinks that susan may be anorexic or bulimic. not good. susan used to be one of my really good friends, so i couldn't help but be concerned.

sometime over the weekend (i think it was saturday, after i got home from work) i tried calling susan. no answer. i think i called susan's house about 8 times overall, and no one answered. maybe something big is going down.

when i'm at work it feels like someone has shot me in the back of the head, forcing me to spend the rest of my day trying not to let the rest of my brain drip and spill out of the gapping cavity in my head. that's how work makes me feel. when i'm not at school, i think my brain shuts down. so at work, i'm stupid. the people who come in seem stupid too. some guy walked in and asked where we put our videogames. well, whenever the words "book store" gets mixed up for "although we never mentioned it, we sell videogames, crack pipes, pornography and all sorts of exotic animals", something is wrong. i didn't even dignify the guy with an answer, and instead told him that i didn't speak english. in english. he kind of looked at me in the startled sort of way as i simply smiled. i wonder if he realized that i was making fun of him.

the only thing that was good at work was cyndie. she is a petite blonde with a pretty face, slim and quite aesthetically pleasing to the eye. i've flirted with her numerous times, and this time was no exception. she's got a dream of a smile, and i can't even describe the way her eyes twinkle. it's weird. she came in and we started talking about mythology. big time green flag. i've always been a fan of different mythologies, and have studied a few for various school projects. too say that i was impressed with her basic knowledge of myths (and just the fact that she was interested in mythology and folklore) is an understatement. unfortunately, i WAS working, so i couldn't talk/flirt with her too long, and i informed her so. and the crowning achievement of the weekend: she gave me her number and i gave her mine. too bad i'll probably end up forgetting and never call her at all. maybe she'll be the one to call. naa, wishful thinking.

i managed to get in touch with jack. he hasn't been eluding me (i guess i was just being paranoid again), he has just been working 65 hours a week. 65 hours? geez. the most i could ever even think about working during a week is 40. maybe i'm just being lazy. anyhow, we hung out last night and smoked up with mia, jack's girlfriend. in a half dizzy haze i decided to go home early (around 9 o'clock) because i was starting to feel like the third wheel. again. i love both jack and mia, but damn, it's hard to hang out with those two when they are always touching and kissing each other. but i'm happy for them nonetheless.

see, i told you nothing really happened this weekend.

i don't think today was much different (happening wise) although i did go to school. school was blah. in one class we talked about people's obsession with the coming millennium and why so many people associate it when the armageddon. in another class there were conversations about advertiser's use of pathos in (gasp) advertisements. and in another we talked about how roger was getting circumcised in two weeks. well, the whole class didn't talk about that last subject, just a bunch of people sitting in the back corner of the room.

"circumcision in your late teens? i hear they give you a prescription to NOT ride a bike.".

that was my mind riveting contribution to a rather disturbing gossip conversation.

i was talking to chel the other day and i was expressing to her how i was pretending to happy with my life, but in actuality i'm pretty sad, if not depressed. all this energy that i've been pouring into my various web projects (7mm, svengali, journal, and palesky) have all just been distractions to get my mind off my seemingly dismal life. not that i haven't been enjoying these various projects, because i have. and you know, there really isn't a reason that i should be sad. i'm getting straight a's, my father an i are on okay terms, and my car is in working order. i don't have a girlfriend. that might be it. god, i wish i'd figure myself out already. i just get more confused as each day passes by.

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