friday, november 6, 1998




i've spent the last couple of days doing nothing really.

well, i have been going to school (although I skipped all day yesterday, the first time in a long time). and i've been working on several pages on palesky (i did all the editing i needed to do for fury, put up the names and history pages for palesky) and recorded a few songs. so i guess i lied in that first line. i have been doing stuff for the past couple of days.

i'm a bit wary, but perhaps it is just me being paranoid. i have the habit of being paranoid lately. wait a sec, i've always been paranoid about certain things, but i've just never told anyone, and certainly not you. but now that's changed, hasn't it? anyway, back to being wary. chel has been a good friend to me for the past year, but recently she seems to be ignoring me. but like i said, it just might be me. apparently her computer has been going haywire recently, so that might just be it, her computer crashing before she has time to reply to my numerous im's. yeah, that's gotta be it. i'll talk to her about it tonight.

<warning>: a few people were talking at lunch today. of all the topics to talk about at lunch, we were talking about excrement. not a very yummy conversation, but it was interesting to say the least. we all ended up arguing about whether or not everyone in the world has looked at their poop at one time or another. c'mon, as gross as it may sound, you must have! it's impossible not to. but then again i live in a world where i think that everyone is the same, we just pretend to be different. or something like that. </warning>

oh yes. i've spent a lot of my spare time surfing the net again. it's been sometime, and wow, the internet is just drowning in a plentitude of websites. i've found a lot of sites that'll probably inspire me for a long time, which will be useful providing that i get off my lazy ass and actually do something while i am in such an inspired mood.

my mother called me the other day (believe you me, a rarity! she has only called me 3 times in the past 2 years - i am usually the caller, her the callee) and tried to persuade me into joining some "step" program to becoming rich. she claims that it's already given her like 9000 dollars, but i think she's fibbing. nonetheless, it only costs 48 american dollars to start, so i got suckered in. plus, she's my mom, what am i going to say, no? so, if any of you out there are suckers like me, and want to make about 900,000 dollars out of 48, or something like that, give me a ring.

actually, the plan makes a lot of sense. so if you do want to know about it email me. i'm strangely serious.

<observation> there are a lot of fake people out there. today when i walked into a coffee shop, there were these two co-workers, talking and jabbering about what a great time they had yesterday at some concert that they went to together. i didn't catch the name of the musical artist that they went to see, but really, knowing it would be quite irrelevant for the rest of this mini-story. well, when one of them went into the back room, the other one started ranting to a customer (i think they were friends) about how she really had a terrible time because she was with that other person, and she can't stand her. so, in an experiment that hit me rather spontaneously, i walked up to the counter while both workers were there, quietly ordered my drink, paid for it, and as i walked away i said to the girl who wasn't liked, "you know, your friend here doesn't really like you. just thought you'd like to know." and then immediately left the coffee shop. as i glanced back i saw them bantering a little, but nothing drastic. ah well. i guess i won't be going back to that place for awhile now. </observation>

i'm running out of herb. actually, i'm running on about a bowl of kind. it'll get the job done and make me happy, but it will only be able to last for about a day. i need to talk to jack about acquiring more. but i think he may be eluding me. hmm.

i had a dream the other night. well, i always have dreams, but i haven't been mentioning them anymore. well, that 21 dream back back awhile ago, but that isn't really important. i don't care about it anymore. the dream that has been in my head now is just of me, sitting on the beach with white sands, blue waters, and in the distance i see a young lady walking out of the water approaching me. but the kicker is that she never reaches me. it just looks like she keeps walking toward me, but she never gets closer. from where i can see she looks like a girl that i was madly in love with sometime ago, but you can probably surmise that she slipped away from me. ah, regrets. anyhow, the dream went like that for some time, until from my left a hummer ran me over. not a pleasant ending.

you know, i don't think i'm going to find love for a long time. not that i'm really looking for it, but hell, if it ever jumps into my lap, and i'm happy, and the other person is happy, i'll gladly oblige. but i don't think that will happen for a long time. i find that i'm picky. and that the people who interest me are usually far away. like kathy for instance. she is gorgeous and smart, but she lives in montreal. long distance relationships are NOT my forte, nor are they my preference. yeah, i think i might have to consider that i'll never find a significant other. how depressing.

hey, i said maybe, alright? pshaw, you probably forgot anyway.

update, but i doubt you care: chel isn't mad at me at all. i was right. her computer is going haywire. damn the computers these days.



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