sleepless fury

april 13th

Backyard Sunset

I am in desperate need of a new server. Xoom just gives me too many headaches. Although they don't require that I post some kind of symbol or advertisement on my page, Xoom just gives me more problems. More often than it should be, their servers are down. Almost more than likely their servers are slow. A lot of times their ftp service doesn't work, and every once in awhile I'll notice some files missing which I *know* I didn't erase because I almost NEVER erase files. Argh. If anyone out there can tell me of a good web hosting server (not geocities, angelfire, tripod, fortune city, etc.) send me an email and tell me, okay? My thanks to those that do.

School was dull, as usual. I did have to take a test in calc, which was slightly difficult, but I noticed a mistake on the test sheets and pointed it out, so I think I'm in pretty good shape. Either way the test wasn't important enough for me to stress about so I really didn't study or think about it. It's funny though - my teacher must be some kind of idiot because when I looked around the room I think I spotted about 14 people cheating! How could someone not notice? They weren't even cheating well! People were leaning over and looking at other people's sheets, people brought in answer sheets, cheat sheets... it was terrible! How could people that were so coarse in their "cheating abilities" not be caught? Not even the cheat sheet on their scientific calculator? Or something a little less obvious? I looked at my teacher in disbelief and laughed to myself. I guess if you have a dumb teacher, why not take advantage of it, right? I finished my test about 30 minutes before class ended, and as I handed my test in, I looked at my professor and laughed. He looked at me in puzzlement as I smiled and walked away.

I think he can tell that I don't think very highly of him. *laugh*

I came home and didn't do much. I think I got a few mild conversations on ICQ in. Sammy seems to be cheery every time I talk to her, so always try to send her an IM every time I see her. I try to send one to Chel every time I see her as well, as I think very much of her, but lately she seems disconnected with me. Well, that may be just the way I feel, but nonetheless we don't talk as much as we used too. Which it too bad, because we used to have great conversation about most anything, and we were never afraid to ask each other personal or difficult questions, wondering if we were going to offend the other person. I miss talking to her.


Hell, I miss talking to a lot of people. When I think about it, it's been awhile since I've had a best friend. Sure, I always say "my good friend" or "one of my best friends"... but I don't really have a best friend. I mean, I remember having one when I was little. I believe his name is Joey Axworthy, and we lived on the same street in Toronto. *laugh* I still remember his address - 7 Invermay Avenue, 30 less than my own house number (37 for you dumb folk). We were best friends for about a year but during the summer he had to move to Detroit or something, I can't really quite recall. Since then I think I've had maybe one best friend, who ended up being my girlfriend. We are still best friends, but we don't keep in touch, and to tell you the truth, I try to avoid her only because she's done things that have made me lose respect for her. I'm not trying to bitch or be whiny, but I guess I'm saying is that it would be nice if I had a best, best, best friend, you know? Someone that I'm always usually seen with. Bah. I have no idea what I'm trying to say. Maybe I'm just lonely a lot. Sure, I can talk to people over ICQ, or have random meetings with friends at school, or when my other friends come home. But I don't have a person who I always call to hang out with, and no one does that with me. At least not now. It'll probably change over the summer as my best friends are away, but the weird thing is that I know that they have really good friends at their schools. Why don't I? Do I shy away from the people at my school? Do I come off as an unapproachable person? I don't think so. I think of myself as a pretty social person with an extroverted personality, one who gets along with most anyone. Ah well. I don't know why, and I don't have the mental stamina right now to think about it either. I guess I'll just have to deal with until May. Then the "boys" and "gals" will be back together.

That last paragraph came from nowhere. It's almost pathetic. Just ignore what was said up there.

I went for my daily bike ride, and it was pretty normal and uneventful. When I got home and went online I kind of avoided talking to anyone else on ICQ, for fear of striking up a conversation and then having nothing else to say. My mind has been doing that to me lately. It's more online communication than offline though. My conversations in person are still at the same interest level that I've always tried to maintain (that sounds totally dorky), but online is another matter. Anyhow, I spent a lot of the evening trying to redesign the cover page for Sleepless Fury, which I did. To tell you the truth I'm not really HAPPY about it. I mean, it does please me to a certain extent, but I have doubts that I'll stay with it for very long - at least not as long as I did with my previous cover page. Anyone have ideas? Hmm... I'm thinking about asking James to do something for me, but I've liked saying that everything on my site was done by me. Ah, we'll have to wait and see... Oh yeah, I hope you like it anyhow, despite my feelings towards it.

Speaking of James, the other day (I can't remember what day it was) we were speaking, while Shawntell was over at his house. James and I have always found interesting things to banter about, and this conversation was no different in that sense. But the conversation did take a strange turn when James downloaded one of the .wav files from my site and let Shawntell listen to it. She seemed to get very excited after hearing it, and offered to get together with me and my band (Jack and I are trying to form a band) and do gigs with us. The thing is, she lives in Michigan! She offered to drive down here and jam with us, which bewildered me for a moment. She was so direct and forward that it caught me off guard. I regained composure and replied that I would be delighted and that I'd get in touch with her through email. Once James was back in command of the keyboard I asked him if she was for real, and he stated that she seemed to be very genuinely excited about it. How neat. I still have to get around to writing her an email, but I'll update you on it. I'm still wary about inviting her though, because if you read James's journal, you'll realize that she's a psycho. *laugh*

Anyhow, I believe I've typed enough for one evening.

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