sleepless fury

march the 14th

Jumping the Fire

Today is kind of hazy. I don't know whether it was a good day, or a bad day. Bad things certainly happened, but it isn't sticking in my head for some reason.

I awoke to my dad screaming my name at 9 in the morning. I had gone to sleep at 5, thinking that I would be able to sleep until 12, an hour before I had to be at work. For some reason he felt like being a jackass today.

Apparently he wanted me to fold up the tent that had been laying on our basement floor for half a year. Normally I wouldn't have any objections, but the problem is that HE was the last one to use it. And getting only 4 hours of sleep didn't help my mood. I ended up doing it anyhow, but let me tell you, I felt telling my dad to stick those tent poles up where the sun don't shine. I managed to hold my composure and completed the task and went back to sleep.

Work is work (meaning it can never be really THAT pleasant) but it did hold a surprising treat for me today - I wasn't working with Pat! Instead I got to close with the assistant manager Lori, who is so fun to work with, and quite a looker if I may add. We went through the day laughing and Lori, Rachel (another co-worker that we closed with) and I had a pretty good time.

Lori noticed that I was agitated and for awhile I couldn't really figure out why. Then I suddenly remembered my dad being a jackass and my lack of sleep and she understood. I was still pretty much agitated the whole day, but I'm glad that it didn't bring a bad mood at work, that would have sucked.

After work I went over Jacob's house, as we were planning to go our friend Jack's house and attend the bonfire get-together he was having. It's been almost ritualistic for us to have a bonfire when a bunch of us are home, and it was great. As you can see we got pretty silly, with that picture of me jumping over the fire. We sat there playing foolish elementary games like "Truth of Dare" and "I Never..." and it was all pretty silly, but we all had fun nonetheless. It was kinda of sad to see everyone there knowing that a lot of people would be going back to school the next day. Especially painful for me to see leave would be Gem, Jacob and Julie - I had grown quite close to each of them and they will always have a special place in my heart. I know, that sounds really sappy, but that's true.

Gem and I had been close before, but once we went to separate colleges we kinda drifted apart in terms of talking and just plain ole hanging out. The fact that she had a boyfriend was also a major factor, but I was friends with him too, so there was no real good reason why we shouldn't have hung out. This spring break rekindled our friendship though, and all is well.

Jacob and I first became friends at the end of our senior year at high school. We played alternate parts in our spring musical Grease. There were two casts, and we were lucky enough to be in both. In Cast A I was Doody, while he was Teen Angel, and in Cast B we switched roles. I even remember the first time we really "talked" - I had to teach him a few chords on the guitar. So just through interacting so much because of the musical, we started hanging out, and by summertime we ended up becoming close friends. I'm sure our friendship will continue long into the future.

Julie and I had never really been close until this spring break. Granted we did hang out a few times and had some pretty cool conversation, but not like we had now. It's strange though - when we actually got talking over this spring break it was like we were friends for a long time, and instantly we could talk of deep and intellectually stimulating things. We share similar interests, and although she doesn't think so, she's quite a poet, which ties her in closer to me. It's strange in the fact that we never really became close friends before now, but I'm glad we are now. We promised each other we'd keep in touch.

Anyhow, back to the bonfire. After all the gallivanting and having fun was when everything kinda just suddenly crashed. Terry (another person who was there) decided to leave earlier than most of us and when he backed out the front of his car dented the side of my car. My poor, lovely Volvo. He told me that he would pay for my damages, and blabbed something about having to pay a speeding ticket. I kind of feel bad for him, because when I inspected the damages further, he hit and scrapped things that are pretty expensive to fix. I'm calculating that it will be at least $1000 dollars, and if he or his family can't fix it immediately, I'm gonna have to go through his insurance, which plain ole sucks. I'm gonna feel like the bad guy, but the thing is, leaving that damage and driving around with it would rust up my car, and I NEED to drive my car in order to get places. Of course there is all this damage to my car, but I can't help and feel bad for Terry. I hope all of this can be resolved with the least amount of pain.

You can't help but stare into each others eyes and think, "Should we?"

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